Kidding Around in Town

Holiday Travel With Kids in 2011

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:07:00 +0000

I will say that the airlines do make travelling with children as easy as they can. What I am going to share is my personal experience and may or may not be what you experience at the airport. None-the-less these are things that I wish someone would have told me before I flew!

You can take as much in the way of solid food as you want so load up on goldfish and any other solid food snacks that you want.

You cannot take liquids unless you have a baby who is breastfeeding or getting formula. If your baby is less than a year old then the TSA are very nice and allow you to take whatever the baby needs in the way of breast milk, formula and baby food.

You can transport a breast pump but not breast milk unless the baby is present when you are traveling.

Don’t forget to take the car seats that you will need when you arrive at your destination. I have a special bag to put them in and it has been awesome. The airlines are not supposed to charge you for checking-in car seats which is something I wish I knew when we flew out of Greensboro on Delta in October. The person checking us in knew that they were car seats and sadly she charged us the fee anyway. On our way back at the curbside check-in in Dallas the man who worked with us made sure that we did not get charged.

Take an unbrella stroller! It is easy to stowe on board an airplane and well worth having it!

Scented dirty diaper bags are a life saver if you are staying in close quarters with other people and have a baby in diapers.

This portable pack-n-play type “Phil and Teds” has really been very useful for us over the years since it folds up much smaller than the other pack-n- plays and weighs next to nothing.

Buy one of these fold-up toilet seats and put it in your carry-on bag. You will be glad you did if you have a little one who is independent in toileting!

I also found a nice article containing tips for what to take for kids to snack on while you travel so you may want to check this blog out. There is a lot of other helpful information about flying with kids on this site as well.

You are planning to drive instead of fly? If that is the case some will tell you to make sure there is a way for the kiddos to watch some TV. If your car does not have a DVD player in it you can always bring a laptop and slide a movie into it. Personally, I am old fashioned and still make my kids play games and talk to me. When that gets old they LOVE their Leap Frog Tag Readers which I can't recommend highly enough. Will say though that if you have more than one child and each one has their own reader I would recommend headphones. I also have a friend, Rebecca Subbiah, who has written "101 Tips For Traveling With Children" which is a cute little handbook that you can get as an ebook for around 3 bucks. It is money well spent.

The last thing I will say is relax! The lines will be long, there will be a lot of people and conditions will be right to make for a stressful time but keep your cool. Your family will thank you!

No Peace Table in Sight!

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:18:00 +0000

My girls are sweet girls. I know we all think our kids are sweet but mine truly are. They are almost 4 and 5 and would never hurt a fly (other than one another, of course). Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say they were angles but they are nice to people and in return they expect people to be nice to them. And that my friends, is a whole different story.

My babies attend The Montessori School in Clemmons, NC and at the wonderful institution, among other things, the children learn “conflict resolution.” It is wonderful. Sally stepped on my art work and instead of hitting her, stepping on her art work or pouting the rest of the day and refusing to talk to Sally I am going to invite her to the peace table. At the peace table I am going to explain what I am upset about, Sally is going to apologize or defend herself, we will “declare peace” and get on with it as friends. Most adults could use a lesson in conflict resolution but I digress. So the problem comes when my little, “peaceful” ones encounter another little not-so-peaceful one.

So, we were at Chick-fil-a on a Friday night having dinner. The girls were shoveling food into their mouths with the ultimate goal of getting to that playground before it was time to go. At the exact moment the last chicken nugget went into my older daughter’s mouth out came the words (mouth full) “mommy can we go now?” I let her go ahead while I cleaned up; after all I could see her thru the window.

As soon and my daughter entered the play area I saw a little, very different acting boy talking to her. Whatever he said made her hang her head in sadness. Infuriated I went into the play area and asked what happened. She told me, tears flowing, that he called her a “stupid lady.” Seriously. I could not make this up. “Stupid lady,” yeah. Anyway, she was upset and there was no peace table in sight. Her little sister told her to punch (she is all talk and very sensitive about her older sister) him because she was infuriated as well. I struggled to figure out what to advise her to do but we got cleaned up and I sat there while she played and the little hoodlum whose father looked completely helpless left.

Over the next few days I spoke with some of my teacher friends who gave me some advice. These were different teachers with different backgrounds but all know my girls from an educational setting. There was an overwhelming consensus about how I should have my girls handle such a situations in the future. You see, I wanted to tell her to walk away and just not care what the little shit said but I was told that if I do that then she will eventually get bullied because this is only the start of her interactions with such ill mannered children. The teachers told me that I should have her stick up for herself. If someone says something she does not like and that is rude she should respond with firm words. Something like “do NOT speak to me that way,” or “get away from me” is completely appropriate. I am the type of person who truly does not care one bit what people think of or say about me and that has served me well. I was trying to make my girls the same way so that they can just walk away without hurt feelings. The fact is that you can have both, a child who stands up for themselves AND one who is not hurt by what people think! Who'd have thought?!

“What is God?” by Etan Boritzer – a book review

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 03:21:00 +0000

My only qualification for writing this review is that I am a mother who believes in “God” (or whatever you call the force that animates the world) and who does not teach my children to subscribe to a certain group of religious practices. I was raised Muslim and my husband was raised in the Christian faith. As is typical in most marriages I am the one who encourages spiritual practices with my children. The way we pray is less the focus of this review than is the fact that it is considered unconventional to raise children outside of a strict religious pattern. This makes it very uncommon to find such a great supporting piece of literature.

The book “What is God?” by Etan Boritzer is an outstanding way to teach children about “God” in as nondenominational, unbiased and non-threatening a way possible. This is the perfect find for a parent who believes that all religions are right and that they are really all pretty similar. If you want to teach your children to be accepting and understanding of all religions and that no religion is wrong as all of them teach love, peace, kindness and the like then you must get your hands on this book! Awesome job Etan!

My Kid is Better Than Your Kid...

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 17:24:00 +0000

Why is it that we as parents spend so much time comparing our kids to other people’s kids? If you actually think about it you see that it really does not make much sense. We put so much thought into everything we do to and for our little ones. The clothes we buy, the lunches we pack, the activities they participate in and even down to the length of their fingernails. You would think that once your put so much thought and effort into something you could trust that it is the best it could possibly be and then maybe you could get some enjoyment out of it. But no, parents really struggle with this.

I was at one of the activities that one of my girls participated in this week (vague enough for you?) and I overheard another little girl’s father as he spoke to his wife (the cutie pie’s mom). I swear I was not eves dropping but they were just standing so close to me that I could not help but hear. He said “she is by far the skinniest in the class, I mean by far,” and then he continued with other comparisons of his little princess with those other little princesses in the room. I realize that not everyone goes to the extreme but it is kind of like the parents who end up in a fight at the ball field or in the audience of a beauty pageant. Instead of being there to support your child you become the parent who is there to defend or to push your child. The one who is looking for what is wrong rather than what is right.

I am not judging or saying that I have or have not done this I am just saying that I think that instead of comparing our kids to every other kid in the room we would probably all be better off celebrating our own children for whatever they are or even for whatever they are not. In the end this is the way to healthy children, healthy parents and most importantly healthy relationships between the two. I think it is certainly worth a try.

Man=Chaos

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 10:21:00 +0000

Why do men always seem to come with some degree of chaos? The girls and I can be sitting perfectly peacefully at the table doing a lesson in the most organized fashion and having a good time and their dad can walk into the room and the energy completely changes. I have no idea how or why but for some reason when Tyler gets home it is time to horse around and play. And its not just kids either mind you. Animals are affected by the male presence as well. I can remember when our Doberman, Khan, was a puppy and I would be at home working with him and the same thing would happen. Tyler would enter the room and all of a sudden manners went out the window and it was time to play. What is this phenomenon?

The funny part about it is that when he is playing with the girls it is like he is a kid too. You know how when one child annoys another they tend to shout out “mommy, so and so did such and such to me!” Well, the hubs is no exception. He is fine playing and wrestling around for a while but when things get out of hand, and they tend to pretty quickly most days, it is “Shazana, can you help me get them to stop?” or “Shazana, how do you make them listen?” Or better yet is my favorite “do you let them act like this all day?” Oh dear, it looks like I have 3 kids now doesn’t it??

The TerribleTwo's? or it is The Terrible Three's?

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 19:36:00 +0000

As much as I hate to say it there was a time when I did not like my baby. I always loved her but I just went through a phase (thankfully it was just a phase) when I just could not relate to her and it seemed that her primary purpose in life was to make sure I was in constant hell. My husband said that our oldest did the same thing but that I just could not remember. It is certainly possible as my memory is not at all what it once was but nonetheless I was at a loss. I used to pray for God to shield my poor baby from my frustrations toward her. Do you get the picture? It was pretty bad.

I am writing this to tell you that this phase started when she turned 2.5 and I now know it ended at 3.5. It is a phase and it does end! I promise. Whew! What a long year that was! I seriously thought at times that I just had a bad kid. She would look for things to do to annoy me and then she would relentlessly repeat the action until I would be in search of a window to jump out of. But the conclusion has been delightful. Inara and I got out of this phase in our lives unscathed and better for it. I now see the wonderful, kind, sensitive, loving and disciplined little lady that I looked for for 12 long months. She is our pride and joy and the cutest little thing ever!

This is for all you parents out there going through the same thing. You are not a bad person. The way you feel is natural and I have been there too. And even if the timing of your child is different form mine your baby is not a bad kid. It is just a phase so hang in there!

Ants in My Hair Make Me Cry

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:34:00 +0000

They really do. As you probably know we were gone for the entire month of July. I did not publicize this as much while we were away because believe it or not everyone who reads this blog does not love me. I know it is hard to believe but it is true. Some people (and I know who you are) who read my blog actually do so because they believe in the old cliché “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” So, in the interest of keeping my beloved home safe I kept it as quiet as possible. But anyway, we are home now and of course, just like this time last year, we have ants! Effing little black, annoying ants. The kind that you kinda just have to fight a day at a time all the while praying that this day is the last.

This bout with ants has shaken me to the core. Ok, maybe I am being a bit dramatic but they have really messed with me this time. I am even dreaming about them! In my dreams, which are really nightmares, they are getting into my beautiful cakes and breads and ravenously tearing them apart until all that is left is a pile of crumbs! And if that is not bad enough remember last year when I found an ant in my hair?! Well, guess what. I found an ant in my hair yesterday!!

AAAAAAHHHHHHH, HELP!

Don't Call the Police!

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 19:28:00 +0000

I went to the post office today. More often than not I go for quick things like to pick up mail that I have to sign for or drop off a piece of mail. Most of the time my trips to the post office last 30 seconds or less. Lets face it, now with on line bill pay trips to the post office are greatly reduced. I tell you this for a reason.

Today when I pulled up to the Advance post office I had both girls in the car with me and we were listening to music. The girls we so into the music and so not into the post office that they did not want to get out of the car. I am a big proponent of picking my battles. Frankly, I just do not have the energy to fight all the time. The girls were listening to music so intently that I knew if I insisted they come inside the time and energy it would take would just be too much. Well, I was parked in such a way that I could see the car from the inside of the post office, which was literally one step away from the spot where I parked. Wanna guess what I did? You got it. I let them stay in the car.

The entire time I was inside I was nervous. I kept looking outside. So much so that the woman who was helping me finally asked “you got kids in the car?” I was so surprised that she knew exactly what I was doing! I replied, “Yes, what gave it away?” She then said, “I can tell you are looking outside waiting for someone to pull up who does not have kids and call someone.” We both then laughed in complete understanding of one another. That was exactly it. I was not watching the car to make sure my girls were alright. I knew they would be or I would not have left them. I was watching them to make sure that nobody else was doing the same so that I would not get in trouble for leaving them! And just so you know, both of them are perfectly capable of getting themselves out of their seats and out of the car.

I get that you are not supposed to leave a 6 month old in the car in 90-degree weather for half a day. I am not stupid. I just did not realize that there are other mothers out there who not only do what I did but more importantly understand just where I am coming from! It is nice to know that other parents have been where you are.

35

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:42:00 +0000

35 was hard. It has now been exactly a month and a half and I am just now able to express what it made me feel like in a way that others can understand and hopefully benefit from. I guess that I also owe it to you to tell you that 27 was hard too…I still have no idea why and looking back it seems really silly so let’s focus on 35, shall we?

I have an awesome, awesome life. Those of you who know me personally and even many of you whose only contact with me has been through Kidding Around know that. In case you are just tuning in I quit work (my cushy and very lucrative pharmaceutical/medical device sales career) 2 years ago to stay home with my then 19 month and 3 year old daughters. Now those lovely ladies are 3.5 and 5 years old and we all feel like everyday is a vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely feel overworked and under paid but I would not have it any other way. I digress.

So, I never wanted kids. Did you know that? I don’t mean to digress again but this is totally relevant. Of course, I am absolutely in love with my girls and would have it no other way but my point is that they were not in my “master plan” of how my life was going to go. You see, I LOVED work! Outside sales in the health care industry (pharmaceutical and medical device) was my thing! I started in the industry at the ripe old age of 21 and never looked back. I was whisked away into the world of corporate American and my ultimate goal was to be queen of it. Seriously, I had my eye on the “C’s” and that was where I was headed. Fast. But then things changed…dramatically…and it all came to a screeching halt.

What happened was that I learned what “love” in the purest and most unconditional sense felt like and I wanted that feeling to be around me always. I have also always been the “stay-at-home” type stereotypically speaking. I have three younger brothers who I always loved to care for when we were little. I would brush their teeth, bathe them, feed them, pack their lunches, etc. and I loved every moment of it. Still do. Only now I have three (honestly, do you think hubbie cares for himself now that wifey stays home??) of my own that need that kind of continuous care and I give it to them with pleasure. Another digression.

Ok so, after I had Inara (my second) I was literally crying every Sunday night. And my babies never even went to day care! My mother (bless her heart) used to come over every morning to care for my girls from the time my first one was born. It wasn’t that I felt guilty for leaving them somewhere that was subpar or that they were unhappy. It was that I wanted to be their mom and was only getting to do that after hours and on the weekends. So I cried and I cried for 19 months all the while getting more and more serious about leaving my six figure, very cushy and for all practical purposes fun job. It started out as just words “I wish I did not have to go to work,” and as all the great thinkers (Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Eckert Tolle) say those words were said enough and we (my old man and me) talked about it enough that one day it just happened. I turned in my 2-week notice 2 weeks before their school started exactly two years ago now and we have never looked back. The way things have worked out is material for a whole other blog post and then some but the fact is that I left my job. Just like that. A job that I was going to make into a life for myself by climbing so far to the top of the ladder that the bottom was just a memory. Now what?

During my career in sales I was always very competitive and I rarely ever lost. If there was a goal I set my eyes on it and achieved it every time. And I was handsomely rewarded for doing so with money, praise and recognition. Now that I have been staying home for the last two years I have turned this “job” into something similar. I set goals, standards to measure myself by and then I am rewarded with either happy girls, a compliment from an outsider or nothing other than another successful day. But alas, there is no extra bonus to be paid, no trip to be won and there may even be some blame to claim. You know for the forgotten snack or water bottle or for the fact that my Andira does not like soccer since “you let her act like a baby at home so it is no wonder she only cries on the soccer field.” And so how do I make peace with now being 35 and being nowhere that I thought I would be and everywhere that I never considered? I traded my suits for sweats and my money for puke. And while I would not ever trade my life for anything else and I do not want to go back to work. I do sometimes wonder where I am. It seem that yes, I am enjoying my life and I can certainly see the benefits of my staying home for all of us but the clock is still ticking. I am getting older and all of the things I thought I would be doing at this age are none of the things I am doing now. Let alone that I am in my mid-30’s and now there is a new box to check. Sometimes I wonder, “what now?” am I done? So, I am going to raise my two girls while turning old and gray and then at the end of it all there is no “C” awaiting me? Different. From what I planned for I mean.

So I decided very simply, eff that! I gave myself my own “C” title that day.

Chief Mother in Charge J And now I feel better.

Adidas Kanadia TR 3 Shoes - - I Heart Them!

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 14:49:00 +0000

Have you found your favorite, favorite gym shoes?? I have been looking since high school, when I was in love with my Adidas Ozweego shoes, for that special pair again. And guess what...I finally found them! And I wrote about them under my "reviews." I technically reviewed the shoes but I wanted to mention it here also since this is where you can find my personal opinions and learn more about me :-) Please read this!

Take Care of Your Own Kid! :-)

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:53:00 +0000

I know you have been at the pool playing with your kid/kids when another little one decided to join your bunch. You know, the kid whose parents care more about their beer or their tan to actually get into the water and play with their child. For that matter you have also probably been at the playground pushing your child on the swing when another child asked, “can you push me too?” while his or her mom was on her cell phone. It is not that the kids necessarily annoy you. They do me but you are probably nicer than I am. It is more about the fact that dammit I want a tan too! And it has been ages since I caught up with my sister why don’t YOU push MY kid while I make a call??

I know it sounds sad. And maybe it is but that does not make it less true. So many times I feel like other parents kind of really rely on those of us who actually do give a shit to pull their weight too. If is was not bad enough that your kid came over to me and my two in the pool while I am trying to not only trying to keep mine entertained but more importantly safe, then what makes it worse is that they then look up, smile and lay right back down as though if I am not complaining then everything must be OK! Seriously?

Am I the only one who feels this way??

Need to Renew You NC Driver's License?

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 21:38:00 +0000

So, last week I celebrated my 21st birthday for the 14th time...catch my drift? Neither here nor there is my age for as my eloquent 5 year old put it "mommy you don't feel any different when the day of your birthday comes." God love her. Along with my new age (and new box to check) came the responsibility to renew my drivers license. Yikes! I don't mind telling you this now since I renewed it today, but I drove for almost a week with an expired license shame-shame...

Since I failed my first NC drivers test in 1998 (shhhhh, it's a secret) I am slightly scarred and now prone to studying in the interest of avoiding further embarrassment. You will be delighted to know that I past with flying colors today though (yay!!) but more importantly I have some tips for you.

First, go to the DMV in Mocksville. I don't care how far it is for you it is totally worth it. I was in there for less than 15 seconds before they took me back and I was completely done in 10 minutes including an very pleasant conversation with one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life who incidentally works there. Second, here is where to find the signs to study. You need to review both regulatory and warning and know that some of the signs you will be tested on will not have the pictures (I had the school crossing and the RR ones today with no words) or words on them so pay attention to the shapes. And lastly, all you need to take with you is your current, or in my case expired, license and either a $32 check or cash. Just as a side note, when I got my first license in GA in 1992, ahem, I mean 2006, it was only $15!! Boy they gecha on these things!

Feel better now?

Mommy Moments

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 15:55:00 +0000

My baby brother and his wife are now 15 weeks into their first pregnancy. They live in Nashville, TN and since they had driven in for the holiday it seemed the perfect time for them to take back with them the baby stuff that my husband and I had decided on not ever needing again. Right?

Have you gotten rid of your baby stuff yet? I’m not just talking clothes, toys, books or anything else small that could conceivably disappear without leaving a noticeable empty space. I am talking about a crib, changing table or any other piece of furniture that, when moved, leaves weight marks in the carpet. I know that the time when they are in your house and not being used these things seem like big, huge wastes of space. You look at them and think “when will I be able to get massive hunk of a crib outta here?!” I certainly did the same thing so it came as a surprise to me that when I saw the crib dismantled and in my brother’s van I actually spontaneously started to tear up! Really, I took one look into the van, saw the crib lying there in pieces and started to boo-hoo. To make matters worse Inara (my baby) wanted something that she was convinced was in the nursery and so when I walked into the room, the nursery, where both my babies slept peacefully in their cribs at one time, the empty room sent me into yet another moment of inconsolable sadness. This was yesterday and I have to say that I don’t feel that much better today.

So what does this mean? I would want nothing more than to give my brother and his family any and everything that my own girls had because I know it was used and chosen with love and care. It is not that I want to hang on to the stuff forever. I have been told by friends that this is a normal feeling and that they too recall the very same sensations. I know I am not alone in this. The thing that I find alarming about is that right now I have two happy, healthy and growing baby girls ages 3 and 4.5 living at home with me. I really have nothing to be sad about. I am glad that there is no more baby because no baby=no sleepless night, not breastfeeding, no diapers, no baby food and a much, much easier time packing the kids up for a trip. I love my life! So, if I have all of this going for me now yet I can still cry about something I should objectively feel no sadness about then is it just going to be a really long life of mommy moments?

Mother's Intuition

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 14:37:00 +0000

I have just gotten comfortable enough to write about this since it happened. During the last academic year and on a beautiful, warm day I decided to pick my 4 year old (Andira) up from school early. That morning before school she had made a passing complaint that her ear hurt so at 11:20ish I showed up at school to make sure she had had and ok day. When I got there the students had just gone outside to play. I walked into the class room where I found Ms. Suzanne cleaning the tables and taking the opportunity while the children were outside to do some straightening up. I was glad to see her so I could ask about Andira’s day and her ear. Suzanne said she had a good day and had not complained about her ear at all. Relieved I started outside to see my daughter.

Andira saw me from a distance and came toward me. As I looked at her she looked a little confused or disoriented and did not greet me with nearly the same enthusiasm I was accustomed to. I would never have thought anything of it had it not been for the events that took place next.

Sensing that she needed me to I picked Andira up into my arms and began to carry her into the building. No sooner did I pick her up then she started to heave and vomited a little bit. I took her into the bathroom to assess what was going on and she assured me she was ok. I just thought maybe she was over heated.

We got cleaned up and headed for the hallway. She said she could walk and was walking to her cubby when I looked at her and saw her fall to the ground. I literally saw her twitch one arm, then the other and then all of a sudden her feet came out from under her and she landed flat on her face. As I write this I feel the panic, fear, desperation and sadness I felt at that moment. I got to her in milliseconds and scooped her up to thankfully see no blood but a huge whelp on the forehead and a face as pale as a ghost. She was conscious but appeared lethargic and weak. I immediately thought it was a food and water issue since that has happened to me many times before and I wanted to get something with sugar into her body.

As it turns out I was right and Andira has been fine ever since. Now I am just way more careful to make sure she eats and drinks something before heading off to school. I suspect that her fussiness with eating in the morning is what caused the incident that day.

All of that said can you imagine if I had not decided to go in early and check on her? There have been many occasions that I have looked back on that day in amazement at how lucky we were that she was not on a swing, standing high on a platform waiting to slide or on the monkey bars. If she had been there is not telling what kind of injuries she may have sustained.

There is nothing on earth like a mother’s intuition. Trust yours always.

Insensitive Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 18:22:00 +0000

On Wednesday we started preparing for the big day. Daddy’s 35th birthday was tomorrow and the girls (a 2yo and a 4yo) had been agonizing for days about what to make. First they wanted to get him a SpongeBob cake so I thought I was going to get off easy. You know, shell out the 35 bucks for the cake and get on with it. Then Andira (my 4yo) remembered a recipe we had seen for ice cream cone cakes and that was it. She sold Inara (my 2yo) on the idea and the decision was made.

We began by actually making the cones on Wednesday. The girls carefully filled the cones with batter and we baked them in the oven. In the interest of allowing them to cool completely we did not decorate the cakes until the next day. On Thursday they carefully frosted and added sprinkles to each and every single cone. They were so proud of their master piece that it should not have come as a surprise to me that the girls were emotionally invested in the birthday masterpieces they had made for their father.

So, the family came over and we all ate and celebrated the occasion. When time for dessert came I had baked my husband’s dessert of choice, baked chocolate pudding, and his mom had made what she makes every year. Like the dessert loving fools we are we all tore into the dessert as though we had not just eaten 5 whole pizzas. Then with full tummies we all started to wind down our eating frenzy.

When Andira noticed that things were winding down and some people were clearing their plates she got kind of quite. Then I walked over to her and explained that her bedtime was approaching so she needed to get ready to say “goodnight.” This was when it was waterworks for me. Andira looked up at me with her gorgeous, big, brown eyes and said “but mommy, nobody ate the dessert I made.” It was all I could do to turn the other direction before I burst into tears. I had not thought about it because I thought the girls just wanted to do an activity, eat some cake and have something to show their daddy they did. It made perfect sense once I used my brain. They worked so hard and put so much love into their food that they wanted it to be included in the birthday meal their dad had and they wanted their loved ones to enjoy it too! Duh!

Needless to say all of the ice cream cone cakes disappeared within seconds. They were good too…

Mama's Back to School Blues

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:21:00 +0000

My back is killing me and I have cried all weekend. Make you wanna read more? Well drama sells these days so I thought I would try and see where it got me. Allow me to explain. My husband was gone all weekend and my two year old was really acting like a jerk. I know that sounds mean but it is the best way I can explain her behavior. It was like she was on a mission to piss me off if she did nothing else all weekend. The harder I had to work to make her behave the more my back hurt. Then there was a spider on her doll and an ant in my hair and I flat out lost it. Thankfully when the breaking point arrived the door opened with my husband standing on the other side of it or I may be writing this from behind bars.

Upon Tyler’s arrival I promptly burst into tears and proceeded to tell him about the ant, my back and the myriad of other things that had gone wrong in the less than 48 hours he was gone. Thank heavens he handled this perfectly because if he had not it would be yet another time over the course of the weekend that I could have landed myself in the Big House. Tyler listened, I cried (sobbed really) and then when he was certain that no more words were going to come from my mouth he held me and said “oh honey, this is about school starting tomorrow isn’t it?” I had no idea how to respond.

Let me back up for a second. If we go back and examine my history with my girls, particularly since I quit work and particularly when Tyler is gone, it looks pretty flawless. When I have my girls and they have me everything is usually all butterflies and rainbows. They are my thing and I have to say that I do the mom thing rather well. So Tyler coming home after a short weekend away to a sobbing Shazana is a little strange to say the least. Given all of those things, I had to consider what he said. It sounded right. It felt good to cry about it. I cried about it every time I thought about it. Yep, he was right. It was about school starting.

While it was nice to find the cause I could not seem to shake the sad. And lemme tell ya it is even harder to shake the sad right now because as I write this I sit on my empty couch, in my quiet house and fight tears. I am a mess! Lord help me when they are at school for full days!

Staycation With a Twist (SWAT)

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 03:39:00 +0000

So, a “staycation” as defined by the experts at Wikipedia is “a neologism for a period of time in which an individual or family stays at home and relaxes at home or takes day trips from their home to area attractions.” Since I like Wikipedia I will go with this definition. What I am about to suggest does not fit this definition so I will call it “Staycation with a Twist” or a SWAT.

Now that semantics are square let’s get on with it. I have discovered the most wonderful way to affordably vacate for a short period of time, please the entire family, boost the local economy and just flat out enjoy your summer. A couple of weeks ago I, the hubs and our girls decided that it sure would be nice to enjoy an indoor pool! With temperatures soaring into the 90’s daily an outdoor pool seems more like a death wish that a fun outing.

Well, that idea turned into why don’t we rent a room at the new hotel down the street since they have an indoor pool. When I found out that the rate to stay at the Hampton Inn in Advance, NC is $109/night my first thought was “wtf.” Really, I swear, that is the correct rate. Anyway, if I am paying that I am going someplace way cooler and I’m not just talking about the temperature. So, we ended up in a room at the Embassy Suites in downtown Winston-Salem, NC for $20 more and with an indoor pool as well. Now you’re talkin.

Let me back up. This is a Saturday morning and we are looking to make fun for that day so we decide that before we hit the hotel since check-in is like 4 anyway why don’t we make a day of it! We will go the The Children’s Museum and out to eat downtown first! Then will rest, dive into the indoor pool, shower and go out to enjoy Summer on Trade for the evening. And that is exactly what we did!

Can you imagine how much fun the girls had? And the cool part is that we were thoroughly enjoying ourselves too. When we got home on Sunday afternoon it felt like we had been gone on a great weekend vacation and we were gone just 24 hours. For a fraction of the cost and the effort it would take to go out of town for a whole weekend we spent 24 jam packed, fun, on-the-go hours and really got to do things in our own home town that we would not have otherwise explored. It turns out that Summer on trade is an awesome summer concert series that we had been missing all summer!

Even if you don’t live in my wonderful hometown I am sure that your own hometown has something similar that you could do for a really fun and inexpensive day with your family too! If you just rent a hotel room that has access to a pool it will be a really nice outing for all of you. Plus it is nice to be in a hotel room with your family because all the distractions of home are gone and you get time to just focus on one another. You really have to try it!

A Parent's Guide to the Crib Recall

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:54:00 +0000

So, while it is not necessarily new news about the safety issues surrounding the “drop-side crib” you may have been reminded of the issue in the last week. On Wednesday the Consumer Product Safety Commission voted to ban drop-side cribs and tighten safety standards for other kinds of cribs, following a rash of deaths linked to faulty cribs over the past three and a half years. When I first heard this I was slightly scared so I decided to delve into the details.

First of all, you should know that 82,000 drop-side cribs sold at Pottery Barn Kids over the past 10 years have been recalled. The specifics of which you can find here http://life.familyeducation.com/recalls/10302 Those recalled models can be found at http://www.potterybarnkids.com/stylehouse/recall/dropside-cribs.html?cmtype=hplink&cm_re=FallD110-_-SafetyRecall_-DropSideCribs It appears that if you find that you have one of these cribs in your home Pottery Barn has offered to send you a kit to be able to “convert” your crib into one that is safer and whose sides no longer drop… I find it a little annoying that they issue a “recall” and then make the customer do the work of fixing the problem, but maybe that is just me.

The other thing you need to know is that the recall is based upon issues that could potentially arise when a drop-side crib breaks or when the hardware used to raise and lower the side wears out. So, if you are like me and do have one of these (drop-side, not Pottery Barn) cribs the powers that be are recommending that you stop raising and lowering the side in the interest of reducing the amount of wear-and-tear you put on it. This should help to maintain the integrity of the crib.

As a little side note, are you wondering how in the heck we made it? I am. I vividly remember a high chair that was unstable and would pinch my fingers, a crib with springs that would do the same and possibly my fondest memory is of a “walker” that my little brothers would run over my toes with and that I am almost positive one of my brothers actually went down the stairs in. We are all still ok as far as the eye can see.

What Parents Need to know About High Fructose Corn Syrup

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 20:24:00 +0000

We have all seen the commercials. The question “what is wrong with high fructose corn syrup?” is one that has gotten many of us moms, including myself, thinking. Since I could not intelligently answer the question either I looked to some objective “experts” for help. What I found is that the truth essentially lies somewhere in between the worst public opinion and those pesky commercials.

As stated by Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, “high-fructose corn syrup just doesn't exist in nature" making their claims for being “natural” untrue but aside from that there is not a lot else actually wrong with the substance according to sources. “The American Medical Association recently announced at its annual policy-making meeting in Chicago that high-fructose corn syrup does not contribute more to obesity than sugar or other caloric sweeteners” (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1841910,00.html). These statements are very different from the very negative public opinion that currently exists about the sweetening substance.

So where did all the bad publicity start in the first place? Well, it appears to have originated with an article written by Barry Popkin, a nutrition professor at the University of North Carolina, and Dr. George Bray of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge who suggested that a rise in obesity may be somehow related to an increase in the consumption of high fructose corn syrup which could be because the substance may be metabolized differently than sugar. That was all they said and these were not facts but a theory. A theory that led to much bad publicity and resulted in parents like you and me avoiding foods with this sweetening substance. I found in the same article that “Nutritionist, author and food-policy doyenne Marion Nestle has blogged and written extensively about the issue and says in response to the commercials, "Lots of people think high-fructose corn syrup is the new trans fat. It isn't. ... Biochemically, it is about the same as table sugar (both have about the same amount of fructose and calories) but it is in everything and Americans eat a lot of it — nearly 60 lbs. per capita in 2006, just a bit less than pounds of table sugar. High-fructose corn syrup is not a poison, but eating less of any kind of sugar is a good idea these days and anything that promotes eating more is not."’

So the takeaway? Realize that high fructose corn syrup is like sugar. And like sugar it should be consumed in moderation by our children. Read the label of everything you buy for your children because high fructose corn syrup resides in places that you may not expect…like your children’s vitamins. Count this consumption as though it was sugar consumed by your child. Personally, I would rather buy something with plain, wholesome sugar instead of the chemically altered corn starch but there is no evidence that this is better for my kids.

5 Point Harness vs Booster Seat

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 12:41:00 +0000

My oldest girl is now 4 and is still sitting in a full on car seat (convertible car seat with a 5 point harness) in my car. Recently many parents have asked me why I have not transitioned into a booster seat given that it is so much easier to operate and transfer from vehicle to vehicle. I thought I would write about this in the interest of reaching as many parents as possible and to answer the questions about why Andira does not sit in a booster seat in my car. You can only do the best you can for your child but I will be keeping mine in their 5 point harness seats for as long as possible!

The benefits of a 5 point harness are irrefutable. “Child Passenger Safety experts agree that the Five-Point Harness is the safest, because it provides the snuggest fit and is suitable for the widest range of children” found on the CPSafety web site. The definition alone tells the story. A 5 point harness attaches at the shoulders, hips and between the legs of the child keeping them as securely strapped in as possible which reduces the risk of injury and even death in a car crash.

Many parents transition into booster seats much too early. The information I found on healthychildren.org states that “Booster seats are for older children who have outgrown their forward-facing car safety seats. Children should stay in a booster seat until adult belts fit correctly (usually when a child reaches about 4' 9" in height and is between 8 and 12 years of age).” If the child does not fit properly into an adult seat belt then the booster seat will not protect the child in the unfortunate event of a crash. The most common recommendation for appropriate weight necessary for a booster seat is 40 pounds. While it may not be possible for your child to fit into their car seat until they are 8 years old the longer they can stay in one the safer they will be. I also found out that there is actually a seat that you can use after you child has outgrown their convertible seat but is not ready for a booster seat yet. It is a “combination seat.” “A combination seat is normally for use after the child has grown too tall for a forward-facing convertible, but is not yet heavy enough (40 lbs) to move into a booster. The harnessed mode is used until the child weighs 40 lbs (or 50 lbs for the Car Seat Specialty Airway), then the seat is converted to booster mode.” http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/ComboShop.aspx

Lastly, I would like to draw your attention to this very sad video so that you can see a real life testimonial about using a 5 point harness seat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ . There are numerous such videos out there expressing the same sentiment. My heart goes out to this family and the video they share sure does drive the point home.

McNeil Product Recall

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 03 May 2010 11:39:00 +0000

McNeil Consumer Healthcare Announces Voluntary Recall of Certain OTC Infants’ and

Children's Products
Fort Washington, PA (April 30, 2010) – McNeil Consumer Healthcare, Division of McNEIL-PPC, Inc., in consultation with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), is voluntarily recalling all lots that have not yet expired of certain over-the-counter (OTC) Children’s and Infants’ liquid products manufactured in the United States and distributed in the United States, Canada, Dominican Republic, Dubai (UAE), Fiji, Guam, Guatemala, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Panama, Trinidad & Tobago, and Kuwait. (SEE RECALLED PRODUCT LIST BELOW).

McNeil Consumer Healthcare is initiating this voluntary recall because some of these products may not meet required quality standards. This recall is not being undertaken on the basis of adverse medical events. However, as a precautionary measure, parents and caregivers should not administer these products to their children. Some of the products included in the recall may contain a higher concentration of active ingredient than is specified; others may contain inactive ingredients that may not meet internal testing requirements; and others may contain tiny particles. While the potential for serious medical events is remote, the company advises consumers who have purchased these recalled products to discontinue use.

The company is conducting a comprehensive quality assessment across its manufacturing operations and has identified corrective actions that will be implemented before new manufacturing is initiated at the plant where the recalled products were made.
Consumers can contact the company at 1-888-222-6036 and also at http://www.mcneilproductrecall.com/. Parents and caregivers who are not sure about alternative pediatric health treatment options should talk to their doctor or pharmacist and are reminded to never give drug products to infants and children that are not intended for those age groups as this could result in serious harm.

For additional information, including affected NDC numbers, consumers should visit our website http://www.mcneilproductrecall.com/ or call 1-888-222-6036 (Monday-Friday 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern Time, and Saturday-Sunday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern Time). Any adverse reactions may also be reported to the FDA’s MedWatch Program by fax at 1-800-FDA-0178, by mail at MedWatch, FDA, 5600 Fishers Lane, Rockville, MD 20852-9787, or on the MedWatch website at www.fda.gov/medwatch.

McNeil Consumer Healthcare, Division of McNeil-PPC, Inc. markets a broad range of well-known OTC products.

The Other Mother

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 04:07:00 +0000

They walked into the Mexican restaurant a little bit later than your typical lunch time just like they did every Saturday. With a 2 year old and a 4 year old this was the best time since the restaurant was not so crowded. She had broken a sweat and was winded from getting the 2 girls out of their car seats and into the building in the 90 degree heat wave they were having. Of course they both wanted mommy to get them out of the car for some reason. As she mopped the sweat from her brow she caught a glimpse of a woman across the restaurant. The woman was sitting with two girls who appeared to be as close in age as her two but much older. Maybe they were 14 and 16.

As it would happen the other mother looked over right at the same time and their eyes met in the commencement of an almost magical dialogue. Mary, the mother of the two toddlers went first. “You have no idea how good you have it right now. You probably take it for granted that your girls actually walk into the restaurant by themselves! I mean, look at me! I am always winded and sweaty when it is this hot outside. Do you know what I would give to be able to sit down at a table in a restaurant and not have to catch my breath?” The mother of the teenage girls, Emily, answered with this, “they may be able to walk into the restaurant on their own two legs but they could at least allow me to walk beside them, or even beside one another. They are so afraid to be seen as ‘un-cool’ by one of their friends that they don’t dare allow that. When we walk into a restaurant it is usually in a single file line and by the time we sit down I may not be winded physically but my soul feels suffocated for some acknowledgement from my girls.”

When they arrive at their table Mary puts the 2 year old down while she gets the 4 year old situated. In the 5 seconds she has her hands full the beautiful 2 year old baby girl has decorated the table with the salsa that the server had just delivered. The four letter words start flying through Mary’s head as she does her best to keep her composure and clean up the mess without further upsetting her already irritated husband. The fact that neither girl wanted daddy to get her out of the car had gotten him off to a slow start on the happy train as it was. “What would you say now? Are you actually envious of me having to clean this shit up? I mean I turn my back for one second and look what she does! Not to mention that I am starving and now there isn’t even any salsa for me to eat with my chips! I wish my girls sat so quietly and ate their food without such a mess!” Emily replied with her eyes with “well you are right they do eat neatly and no I usually do not have to clean up messes like that anymore. But boy would I trade cleaning up a mess like that every meal if I could just get them to talk to me. They eat so neatly and quietly that I feel like I am by myself. Instead of pouring a jar of salsa on the table to show me she is feeling rambunctious I spend most of my time guessing what my 16 year old daughter is thinking. Is she mad or sad or hurt? How can I craft a question for her that she won’t think is stupid and may open up a dialogue with her?”

The mess is finally cleaned up and the clock is ticking. How long will the girls behave? It is a constant game of keeping their attention moving in the direction that you want it to instead of where it is naturally drawn. Mary pulls out a sticker book and a coloring book and the girls proceed to want one another’s activity. “Why?! Why in the world does one girl always want what the other one has? It is just not possible to always get two of the exact same things. You would think that they would enjoy sharing so that they can get to play two different things. When is our food going to get here??” As Emily looks at the 2 toddler girls and then at her own she recalls, “ I remember the days when a sticker could buy me anything. From a clean room to a kiss on the cheek and anything in between. I had a sheet of stickers stashed absolutely everyplace so as to ensure an easy access ticket to a smile. In fact, I think I still have some in the glove box. I wonder if I will be able to exchange one for a smile today…”

Both meals end at almost the same time since Emily and her girls stayed for dessert. As both families rise from their respective tables the mothers exchange one last and prolonged glance.
Here is what they said:

Mary: “I hate to say it but most days I feel like I can’t wait to get to the stage that you are in with your girls. My favorite time of the day is bedtime. Everyone tells me to enjoy where I am but between the cooking and cleaning for, the whining and crying of and the threats and scolding to I am still trying to figure out when to enjoy.”

Emily: “How I wish I could feel the tickle of baby-hairs on my nose in the middle of a good, long hug. How I miss their sticky faces and immature voices. The way they smelled right after a bath. The indescribable softness of baby-skin. We mothers are so much the same. I have been there and I remember feeling the way her face tells me she feels. How I felt like everything required so much effort. The difference is that you will one day have what I have; I can never have what you have again.”

The Caretaker in Me...

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:41:00 +0000

“It’s hard babysitting everyone around here!” I blurted out this morning as I was preparing the girls’ things for school. “You don’t babysit me,” answered my husband. Really? Who made your breakfast and has made sure you have something for lunch? Who made the coffee for this morning last night and set the timer so that nobody had to wait? I don’t babysit you huh? Well then who it is that does all of these wonderful things that make your life so much easier?

It started as defensive giving. The kind of stuff that you do and give so that you don’t have to listen to what will come when everything is undone or done late. Over the last almost 10 years (yikes!) of marriage I have taken note of the things that make us happier as a couple. It was not until I became a career “stay-at-home-er” that it mattered what I had noticed since I had no time to use any of that information. And it only matters now because I care and actually like to do things for my husband and girls. I am a nurturer. No idea why, maybe because I am the oldest of my own three brothers or because I am the only girl but whatever the reason I really like taking care of people. Since I have a husband he and my girls are the beneficiaries of most of my cooking, organizing, cleaning (when it gets done) and caretaking in general.

Because I like to do stuff around the house I think it gets taken for granted a lot more then when some of my friends do housework. Most of my friends either work full time or they hate house work and cooking so when they do occasionally do something around the house everyone really takes note. My family only seems to notice when things are a wreck around here! I can hear their thoughts “gosh, mom is really off her game these days” or if it is my husband then he will just make an offensive comment like “maybe we should think about getting a house keeper.” Maybe I should take a lesson and go on strike for a while!

Teachers Make All the Difference

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:36:00 +0000

As I walked down the hall this morning on my way to my almost 4 year old daughter’s classroom I knew something was different. I felt her grip on my hand tighten almost as if she knew what was around the corner. Kids have a certain sense about these things. As we turned the corner her tight grip on my hand changed into a choke hold on my leg. That was when I knew we had a problem.

“Where is Ms. Suzanne?” I asked the perfectly nice substitute teacher. “She was not feeling well so she is at home today.” Now I knew. As I knelt down to look into her eyes I could see the tears welling up. I said in as normal a tone as I could muster being fully aware of the impending doom “OK honey, I will pick you up at lunch with a nice surprise in the car waiting for you.” She blinked and the well of tears in her eyes became a stream of tears running down her face.

After about 20 minutes of failed negotiations , and I was offering the good stuff you know like mommy’s handbags, lip gloss and toenail painting type stuff, Andira was finally peeled from my leg in hysterics and I walked away feeling torn myself. I could hear her crying for me all the way down the hall and all the while I wanted to go back and get her and take her home with me. I did not do that for obvious reasons.

Andira is already a homebody who could be with her dad and I all day everyday and be perfectly happy with that. Then we met Suzanne and all that changed. Now, there are still a lot of long hugs and lingering kisses but every morning I leave her smiling in her dear teacher’s arms. This is the magic her teacher has in her possession. Somehow Suzanne knows exactly how to relate to and bestow peace upon my very sweet and innocent little girl’s heart. Not to mention the peace she gives me.

The early childhood experiences our children have with their teachers are so very important. I don’t think I realized until this morning that if it was not for our beloved Ms. Suzanne I would probably not be sending my darling daughter to that school again next year. I wonder if that goes unnoticed more than it should. What special people our teachers are. How one sick day can literally throw our children into such a tizzy that they are inconsolable. We as parents need to be more appreciative of the job our teachers do and that is a given but I especially think that administrators of our schools need to realize how invaluable their personnel resources are. The bottom line is that I pay tuition to the school because I love my daughter’s teachers and if I did not love them then I would not be paying. I hope people think of this more often!

The Right Time to Get Married

noreply@blogger.com (KIDDING AROUND IN TOWN) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:39:00 +0000

When is the right time to get married? I am not talking about the right time between two people. My question is about when it is the right time for a person to get married. When is someone ready? I used to think I had this all figured out but now I am not so sure.
I got married “early” by today’s standards. At the ripe old age of 23 I took off down the aisle escorted by both my parents and was placed into the arms of a man I had met only a year and a half earlier. After eight long months of dating we made the decision to take the plunge into the life of married-dom and we have never looked back. Well, maybe we have looked but we have not stepped…

My point is that looking objectively at my life and marriage one would say that this is indisputably the path of someone who will wind up a statistic. What is it now, more than 50% of marriages end where they started? I too spent time after our wedding telling people that I recommend waiting until they have reached an age closer to 30 before they decide to take their vows. My reasoning was simple. A person typically does a lot of “growing up” in the years between 25 and 30 and to me it would be easier to grow up first and then get married instead of doing what I was doing which was growing up with my husband. Makes sense right?

Now that I am older and my once young husband and I are preparing to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary my views have changed. Unless he cheats on me or goes berserk and starts abusing my girls and/or I (very extreme cases I know) our marriage will end in death. We certainly do not have a fairy tale marriage, trust me, but the fact that we came together with nothing, emotionally and financially nothing, gave us the same baseline so that where we are today is neither mine nor is it his. It is technically and figuratively ours.

The flip side to this the couple who does not get married until later. At some point after they have acquired things, both emotionally and physically, they decided to share these things, these previously acquired things, with one another. What I have seen is nothing better and in some cases there can actually be too much to share and if these people did not learn good lessons in preschool they may not know how to play well with others. So, while two people can grow up together in this case they may actually need to grow down. To undo or unzip some of their individual togetherness in order to make a shared togetherness.

So when is the right time to get married?