Monday, November 29, 2010

Mommy Moments

My baby brother and his wife are now 15 weeks into their first pregnancy. They live in Nashville, TN and since they had driven in for the holiday it seemed the perfect time for them to take back with them the baby stuff that my husband and I had decided on not ever needing again. Right?

Have you gotten rid of your baby stuff yet? I’m not just talking clothes, toys, books or anything else small that could conceivably disappear without leaving a noticeable empty space. I am talking about a crib, changing table or any other piece of furniture that, when moved, leaves weight marks in the carpet. I know that the time when they are in your house and not being used these things seem like big, huge wastes of space. You look at them and think “when will I be able to get massive hunk of a crib outta here?!” I certainly did the same thing so it came as a surprise to me that when I saw the crib dismantled and in my brother’s van I actually spontaneously started to tear up! Really, I took one look into the van, saw the crib lying there in pieces and started to boo-hoo. To make matters worse Inara (my baby) wanted something that she was convinced was in the nursery and so when I walked into the room, the nursery, where both my babies slept peacefully in their cribs at one time, the empty room sent me into yet another moment of inconsolable sadness. This was yesterday and I have to say that I don’t feel that much better today.

So what does this mean? I would want nothing more than to give my brother and his family any and everything that my own girls had because I know it was used and chosen with love and care. It is not that I want to hang on to the stuff forever. I have been told by friends that this is a normal feeling and that they too recall the very same sensations. I know I am not alone in this. The thing that I find alarming about is that right now I have two happy, healthy and growing baby girls ages 3 and 4.5 living at home with me. I really have nothing to be sad about. I am glad that there is no more baby because no baby=no sleepless night, not breastfeeding, no diapers, no baby food and a much, much easier time packing the kids up for a trip. I love my life! So, if I have all of this going for me now yet I can still cry about something I should objectively feel no sadness about then is it just going to be a really long life of mommy moments?