Monday, August 23, 2010

Mama's Back to School Blues

My back is killing me and I have cried all weekend. Make you wanna read more? Well drama sells these days so I thought I would try and see where it got me. Allow me to explain. My husband was gone all weekend and my two year old was really acting like a jerk. I know that sounds mean but it is the best way I can explain her behavior. It was like she was on a mission to piss me off if she did nothing else all weekend. The harder I had to work to make her behave the more my back hurt. Then there was a spider on her doll and an ant in my hair and I flat out lost it. Thankfully when the breaking point arrived the door opened with my husband standing on the other side of it or I may be writing this from behind bars.

Upon Tyler’s arrival I promptly burst into tears and proceeded to tell him about the ant, my back and the myriad of other things that had gone wrong in the less than 48 hours he was gone. Thank heavens he handled this perfectly because if he had not it would be yet another time over the course of the weekend that I could have landed myself in the Big House. Tyler listened, I cried (sobbed really) and then when he was certain that no more words were going to come from my mouth he held me and said “oh honey, this is about school starting tomorrow isn’t it?” I had no idea how to respond.

Let me back up for a second. If we go back and examine my history with my girls, particularly since I quit work and particularly when Tyler is gone, it looks pretty flawless. When I have my girls and they have me everything is usually all butterflies and rainbows. They are my thing and I have to say that I do the mom thing rather well. So Tyler coming home after a short weekend away to a sobbing Shazana is a little strange to say the least. Given all of those things, I had to consider what he said. It sounded right. It felt good to cry about it. I cried about it every time I thought about it. Yep, he was right. It was about school starting.

While it was nice to find the cause I could not seem to shake the sad. And lemme tell ya it is even harder to shake the sad right now because as I write this I sit on my empty couch, in my quiet house and fight tears. I am a mess! Lord help me when they are at school for full days!

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