Monday, August 3, 2009

What Were You Before You Became a Mother or Father?

Oh yeah, I am a sister too…

Before I became a wife and then a mother I was a sister. I am the oldest of 4 children and the only girl. And a “girlie girl” at that. This should set the stage for you. Now add in the fact that I am five and a half years older than a set of twin brothers. I remember the day my parents brought them home from the hospital. I was in love with them at first sight. In fact I think they were the first men that I ever loved. I am a daddy’s girl and do love my dad but he was different when I was little and that is the subject for another time.

Growing up I always kind of thought I was their mom and was always carrying them around everywhere I went. I brushed their teeth, gave them baths and put them to bed with nighttime stories. While my role did change as we aged into little adults we stayed this close. I deemed it my responsibility to ensure that they were taken care of in the best way possible. It wasn’t that my mom was not there it was just that we were the first generation of Indians in my family to be born in the United States so my parents sometimes did not know what to do in certain situations. When I left for college they had just started their eighth grade year in school and I remember not being able to pick them up and carry them anymore. It was pretty sad.

When I started writing this, I was sitting in the DoubleTree hotel in Bethesda, MD, on a hotel bed, next to my own three year old girl awaiting the graduation of one of my baby brothers from medical school. How weird?! He got married last year to a young lady who is a dermatology resident and he will start his residency in a couple of months in Emergency Medicine in Dallas, TX where they just bought their first new home. Time sure does fly. I feel as proud and excited his mother (my mom) does.

Today I feel especially thankful for having him in my life. I am so thankful that my mom had them and that we had the opportunity to become so close. My brothers (all three of them) are the keepers of my secrets, the guardians of my heart, and the reasons for so many happy times in my life. We are soul mates. I truly believe that certain people are meant to be together and personally I am lucky that I did not have to look outside of my own home growing up to find them.

I think as mothers and wives it becomes easy to forget some of our other roles. The part we play as mothers is to me the most important and rewarding for sure but there were those times when we were not mothers and we made lasting impressions and built lasting relationships with others who at the time were the most important people in our lives. If you are an older sister you will probably be able to relate to this best because I have found that we older sisters have a bond. Particularly with those older sisters who have younger brothers. My brothers’ wives also appreciate me (maybe because they too have younger brothers) for the fact that my brothers make really wonderful husbands. In general, men who have older sisters know how to get along with and care for women and make the best partners. Do you remember before you were a mom or dad?

1 comment:

  1. very nice article.

    You should contact the bizymoms Winston – Saleem community to get your blog featured to their large mom community. I am sure they would love to read your posts.